“Eye of the Beholder” 1999 (Review)

“This review blows but not as bad as the movie.”

So you’d like to flush some time down the toilet, but you’re not allowed to leave your house, the bars are effectively closed, or you don’t want to spread covid. Don’t worry, there’s an option. Allow me to humbly suggest “Eye of the Beholder,” starring Ewan McGregor, and Ashley Judd.

Let’s get this right out of the way: this movie sucks. It’s not good. There’s a version somewhere that might have been good, but this isn’t it. It’s stylistic, and it looks like all of the actors tried real hard or whatever, and TBH they did a pretty good job. The problem is, whether by direction or screenwriting, it just came out like ass. It started out like what could have been an interesting movie, and then just got convoluted and stupid. It was a little like showing up to a blind date, finding the person hot and intriguing, only to have them spit on the waiter and loudly advise you not to leave a tip.

It’s hard to point to exactly what went wrong here, but if I was going to take a whack at it, I’d say there were some pretty glaring mistakes that totally contributed. For one, there’s a dumb sideshow going on where Stephen (McGregor) is like hallucinating his daughter for some reason. It’s super extra and not clear from the getgo that that’s what’s happening, but they sort of spell it out eventually. The movie kind of gives the impression that we’re supposed to think Eris (Judd) is his long lost daughter? I guess at some point they try to make it clear that she’s not, and we just totally drop the dumb ghost daughter thing never to mention it again. Sure. Also my dude starts out the movie as some kind of secret agent, which he totally abandons at some point and nobody gives a fuck.

There’s some shithead side quest to go find an orphanage where girls are taught who knows what for some fucking reason, and even though the head lady shows up again, it isn’t important or relevant to the story at all. Whatever. Anyway the movie ends. I wouldn’t go so far as to say it has and end, more like they just ran out of toilet paper and had to kind of awkward stiff leg shuffle until the producers got back home. For context, I was stone cold sober when I watched it, and when I wrote this review, and neither thing could hold my attention, and I’m a movie guy. That’s what you’re signing yourself up for. Holy shit. So if you want to delete two hours from your life with no memorable points whatsoever, check you out some “Eye of the Beholder.” 3.5/10. Nailed it.

-S. Dichead
Loyal film critic and Regional Antifa HR Coordinator

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