Twitter has been, perhaps, the most important internet service in the past ten years. From countries like Syria using Twitter to communicate with the rest of the world or swaying the election by allowing the candidates to talk directly to us, the people, you cannot deny the usefulness of twitter. And boy oh boy did Twitter have some use for us today, dear reader.

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“Us”

I mentioned the election earlier. You know who hasn’t been mentioned a lot recently? Ted Cruz. Get roasted, Senator Cruz, Senator of Texas Ted Cruz, Senator and failed presidential didn’t-even-get-to-be-a candidate Rafael Edward Cruz (yeah, thats his real name– look it up.) He never got to be the Republican candidate in the 2016 election, and a lot of people say it’s because of his alleged affair with five different mistresses. But none of this was proven or disproven– so the answer is still up in the air.

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Like OJ… right? Anyone? Hmm.

I mentioned porn earlier. Well, not directly. Uh, actually, not at all. I’ve always believed that you can find out a lot about a man by the pornography that he watches. When you’re browsing various Hubs and Tubes there is a certain amount of safety involved. With this comes the individual’s true desires and their lust begins taking over every gross, sweaty inch of their body. So what does this have to do with Senator Ted Cruz? Well…

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Yup, this is real.

Oh glory be! Oh happy day! Ted Cruz has used the button below the video to share his pornography on his OFFICIAL, VERIFIED TWITTER. This is it, this is when we hit quantum-over-meme. A goddamn STATE SENATOR has shared porn on his official social media. But we can’t just stop here. What kind of pornography does Senator Cruz like?

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Ted Cruz is into Cuckqueen porn. If you don’t know what Cuckqueen porn is, here’s your crash course– It is a variation of typical Cuckold porn in which the male significant other is having sex with another woman while their female significant other watches. So, uh, lets do the math– Ted Cruz was accused of having several affairs and enjoys watching porn in which the wife (or girlfriend) is watching the husband (or boyfriend) have sex with what really amounts to a mistress.

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Really gets the noggin’ joggin’.

Teddy, my man, it is not looking great for you. But hey, we’re not monsters here– we here at Heck Media decided to reach out to Ted Cruz to let him know about this… mistake.

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You’re welcome, Ted.

-Brendan C. Bush, co-owner and contributor at Heck Media

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